K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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