He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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