What did we do last night that was yellow?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
