Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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