I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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