Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
