I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
