Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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