The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
