It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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