hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
