i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
