So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
