I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
