After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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