i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
