So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
