i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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