your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
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