Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
