all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
do nipples grow back?
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