Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
