absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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