belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
