Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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