i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
