Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
