:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
At least life still wants to fuck me.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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