I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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