so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
