she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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