Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
