I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
