You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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