I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
no you cant smoke seaweed
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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