My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
