I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I've blown a few things in my day
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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