I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
