five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
