If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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