i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
