How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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