if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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