I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
