you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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