I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
