Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...

(716): View more from New York

what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

self-loathing.

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(949): View more from California

My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.

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(937): View more from Ohio

The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex

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(630): View more from Illinois

He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was

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(325): View more from Texas

Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.

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