All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
