Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My ass is underappreciated
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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