my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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