Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
